Self Care is NOT Self-ish!
Recently I’ve been reading articles about self care being wrong. These ridiculous ideas are perpetuated by very caring and helpful individuals who were taught that serving others is always the right thing to do. I was one of those people until health conditions stopped me in my tracks. I was depressed, had zero energy, I even told my husband it felt like I was pushing a boulder up a steep hill all by myself. My chest felt weighted down all the time, my joints were painful, anxiety attacks happened daily and I just needed everyone to go away so I could sleep except sleep did not help and much of the time I could not go to sleep! Agh!
I had (and still have) my dream home on a horse farm teaching horseback riding. You would think I would be walking on air! Seriously, what is wrong with that picture?! I felt like gum on the bottom of a shoe for no logical reason. Except…I WAS SERVING EVERYONE ELSE and neglecting myself!!! My own energy bucket was completely empty. AND I thought I was a bad person for feeling that way!
If this is you let me tell you, it is okay to say “no” when you feel drained. It is okay to put yourself first. No one else will do that. Each person is responsible for:
getting their own shower, brushing their own teeth and hair
having their own clothes and shoes
doing their own dishes and laundry
securing shelter (paying the mortgage or rent)
purchasing groceries and cooking meals
maintaining their own car
taking care of their own children
taking care of pets
THEN once all of those things have been done, you CAN SERVE other people! Society has it backwards. If you are sitting around wondering why isn’t somebody serving YOU it’s going to be like that for a long time. There is a difference between asking for help for one thing vs. asking for help with everything.
My nieces found these rocks at Keuka Lake NY
Teaching people only “to serve others” is creating a bunch of depressed anxiety wrecks who feel like they don’t measure up to someone else’s false idea of perfect existence. We must have a balance between ourselves and others. In riding horses an interesting phenomenon happens when you focus on your own body position your horse becomes more balanced because you are EASIER to carry.
If you know in your gut that “something feels off” examine your self care. Are you not getting showers when you need to? Do you feel drained? Are you missing meals? Do you feel like you have no time to do anything? Is someone in your life saying “do this for me” or else?
You are responsible to take care of yourself, so that you can then serve others in a more authentic and fulfilling way. Showing yourself the love and respect you deserve is a giant step towards being happier!